


Loki x Reader - Oneshot - If Only [SMUT]

by TheJokersEnigma



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Comforting, F/M, Fluffy, Illusions, Loki x Reader - Freeform, Smut, slightly dom loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-06 01:23:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15875619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheJokersEnigma/pseuds/TheJokersEnigma
Summary: Request: Hey! So I saw you take request. Could you write a one shot between Loki x female reader where the reader is crying Because she and her partner split up so loki comforts her and admits that he’s in love with her and they end up having kinky sex where he makes her beg for it then it ends in cute cuddles and fluff?





	Loki x Reader - Oneshot - If Only [SMUT]

Loki stared coldly out at the city beyond the balcony’s glass railing, his arms crossed behind his back as he surveyed the rooftops and rushing car lights.

It seemed an understatement to say that he truly loathed this planet.

Besides being held here against his will by his own brother as a punishment, the almost barbaric world with its similarly uncivilised occupants, offered little to Loki in the way of interest or entertainment except for one thing in particular. One thing that he wanted – that he _needed_ – and was then forced to watch as it was taken away from him.

The skin over Loki’s knuckles stretched even paler than usual as his hands gripped one another in aggravated frustration. He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the door closing in the room behind him, his jaw also clenching in annoyance now at the thought of an unwanted interruption to his own self-pitying. He feared it would be his brother seeking him, out of the apparent goodness of his heart, in an attempt to engage him in some form of small talk-like interaction before he would finally broach the subject of Loki’s foul mood.

Loki, however, had no intention of confiding anything to his brother, especially not in matters of his feelings or frustrations of the heart. He would gain nothing from it, he was certain, and would never hear the end of it from his irksome brother.

Yet that was what was troubling him, his damn heart was overpowering his head, and as a man of brains and logic, it was very disturbing.

As a smart man, it should be clear to him that [Y/N] [L/N] was a Midgardian, not an Asgardian, and, due to that alone, she was not a suitable partner for him. It should be clear to him that he had berated Thor for a similar attachment of the emotions to a human only a few years earlier. It should be clear to him that love – if it could be argued to exist – was a weakness and something he – Loki - could not afford.

And it should be clear to him that, even if all that didn’t matter, [Y/N] [L/N] was already taken – that her soft skin, her shy blushes, her flirtatious smirks, her gentles touches and witty, teasing comments… They would never be his…

“Loki?” As if thinking your name had somehow summoned you, Loki now dropped his hands in surprise, turning slowly to find you now stood in the doorway to the balcony, watching him with a confused, concerned frown. You sniffed, “What are you – why are you still out here?”

“What time is it?” He asked instead of answering your question.

“It’s uh –“ You glanced down at your watch, though barely - as though it was just a habit and you in fact already knew what the time was, “it’s only nine,” You admitted, lifting your head again, “but I – uh – I thought you’d have already retired to your books by now.” You confessed, stepping out onto the balcony, the cold breeze immediately whipping across the ledge and pulling at your hair and the looser parts of your dress.

You looked even more beautiful than usual, Loki couldn’t help noticing, your hair styled for once rather than its usual, more practical look and your makeup somehow enhancing the flecks of colour in your eyes, drawing his gaze, and he noticed how they seemed red and maybe slightly puffy.

Like you’d been crying.

You wrapped your arms around your chest now against the chill in the air, ducking your head and glancing away as though in an attempt to shield your face from Loki’s scrutinising, but you couldn’t help the necessity to sniff again, unfolding one of your cold hands to quickly brush at your cheek.

“You are back early…” Loki observed carefully, watching you intently.

You cleared your throat. “I – I saw no reason to hang around.” You confessed thickly. It was clear you were still attempting to try and maintain some form of dignity in front of Loki but failing when your own tears now quickly overwhelm you.

You screwed her eyes closed in an attempt to stop them, turning away fully now, but a few managed to escape from the corner of your eyes and soon you couldn’t help it any longer, giving up and allowing the rest to tumble down your cheeks unhindered.

Immediately Loki was in front of you again, his hands grabbing your upper arms to stop you turning away from him, though you refused to look at him as his eyes flickered over your face and body, conducting a survey of damage as he held you at arm’s length. “Tell me what happened.” He demanded urgently, his voice almost a growl.

You silently shook your head as the tears continued to run from your eyes. “It’s over.” You finally managed, fighting against your own sobs. “I – I – I wasn’t,” You choked out, still shaking your head incessantly, “I wasn’t enough…” You mumbled, then suddenly seemed to sag forward, dropping your head against Loki’s chest, much to his surprise, ignoring his attempt to keep you at a safe distance from him. He blinked in astonishment for a moment, feeling your strength crumbling beneath his grip, before he finally released your arms, allowing you to now fall completely against him. He let his arms wrap around you now instead, holding you against him as you sobbed nosily into his loose shirt.  

“[Y/N],” He murmured down to you, his lips skimming your hair lightly, “I assure you, you are far more than enough.” He promised, breathing you in. “And I am sorry this has happened.”

“S’not your fault.” You dismissed thickly into his chest, then suddenly seemed to remember yourself, pulling away and keeping you head down to hide your puffy eyes, wiping quickly and rather ineffectively at your cheeks and nose. “I – I ‘m sorry, I – uh - I didn’t mean to - “ You mumbled embarrassedly, gesturing vaguely at yourself then at Loki and the darkened patch on his shirt where the material was saturated with your tears. “I – I really didn’t think anyone would still be up here,” You croaked in explanation, “– J-Jarvis said everyone had gone out…”

“Yes, well, I’m hardly classed as ‘everyone’…” Loki observed bitterly.

You frowned at this, seeming to forget your own distress for a brief moment. “That’s not fair and they all know it!” You protested with a scowl, I – I’ll speak with Stark.” You growled, squaring your shoulders, as though you were about to march up to him right now, forgetting your red eyes and smeared makeup.

“As the technology told you, the metal man is currently out for the night.” Loki reminded you with an amused twist of his lips. “My concern is not, and never has been, on being included in my brother’s friendship groups.” He muttered, “Right now, I am more concerned about you - you are not hurt, are you?” He frowned, his eyes roaming over you again.

“No, of course not.” You scowled weakly, batting your hand in the air to stop his scan of you. “You know he wasn’t like that, Loki.” You reprimanded lightly with a scowl.

“One can never be too careful…” He muttered in defence - he never wanted you hurt, but he wouldn’t have minded an excuse to pay the kid a visit.

Not that he really needed an excuse.

“Look can we not – can we just not talk about it?” You now asked desperately. “I just - I just think I need to sit down and take my mind off it.”

Loki nodded at this. “A drink?” He offered as he now placed a light hand on your back to steer around.

“Sounds perfect.” You nodded with a sniff, letting him lead you back inside.

Loki headed to the bar on the other side of the room, pouring two glasses of Stark’s premium collection, before then moving to where you had fallen onto one of the sofas. You thanked him as he handed you a glass, then he went to take a nearby armchair. “Wait.” Loki faltered, glancing back at you with a raised eyebrow, making you turn slightly red, “Look, you – uh – you have every right to tell me to shove off an all, but… I – uh – I could really use with someone right now and – well you’re the only one here…” You admitted with a shrug and Loki raised his eyebrow even further at this particular compliment - though you didn’t see, your head down as you mumbled - “And, if I’m completely honest, you’re also the only person I want right now…”

Loki’s eyebrow dropped in surprise at this and you kept your head down, thoroughly embarrassed by your confession. “I – I just – I mean – I – could you – could you just sit with me?” You stuttered, gesturing at the cushion next to you.

Loki hesitated at the request. He had been trying to avoid being alone with you for as long as he could remember now – ever since he’d found out about _him._ When he couldn’t – or shouldn’t – do anything. But now you weren’t.

It still struck him as a bad idea – you were in a vulnerable place right now and he knew he’d had a list of reasons, other than you being with another man, to not involve himself with you… But in that moment, none of them seemed the slightest bit important.

Loki kept his face impassive as he now sat down beside you, even though he could already feel the warmth radiating off your skin and the scent of you still clinging tortuously to his clothes. He was painfully aware of how temptingly close you were again now, and ensured he kept himself to the very edge of the sofa, sat too upright and every muscle tense.

“Look, I – uh – I know you like your personal space…” You now muttered awkwardly, mistaking his discomfort, “But I –“ You stopped, chewing your lip anxiously, clearly unsure how to broach the question and shifting uncomfortably in your seat.

“Not when you are concerned.” Loki assured you quietly, noticing your struggles and already catching sight of the fresh wave of tears welling in your eyes. “I would consider it no less than my duty.” Loki murmured gently, and you glanced up in surprise before giving him a weak, almost strangled smile, the pain that flashed in your eyes placing a similar constriction on his heart.

Had he said something wrong?

You nodded soberly at this, but nevertheless shuffled closer, gently leaning into Loki until you laid against his chest again. Loki hesitated for a moment, but then cautiously laid an arm around you. “I am sorry,” You mumbled into him.

“There is no apology necessary.” Loki stated indifferently, “You have been hurt - I am only too aware that physical pain is often preferential to mental pain – especially when the heart is involved.”

You lifted your head slightly, “You’ve felt like this before?” You sniffed in surprise.

Loki wanted to deny it but couldn’t see the point. “Yes.” He said with a single small nod.

“A-And you got through it? How?” You croaked desperately.

“I haven’t…” Loki confessed honestly. “Not really.” He glanced away from you, “I do not believe a heart can mend,” He explained, “much like any other anatomical tissue, the new is always weaker than before and there is nearly always the scar of the memory…” He murmured quietly.

“That’s… almost beautiful.” You mumbled, having been staring up at him as he spoke. “Can you tell me about her?” You asked, and Loki glanced down at her in surprise at the request. “You don’t have to,” You backtracked quickly, “…if it still hurts.”

“No, I – I am capable.” He assured you, glancing away again and pausing in thought for a moment before he spoke again. “She was – is –“ He corrected, “beautiful. She can see through my illusions and never backs down at the cruel remarks that I never mean…” He mumbled. “She calls me out when I become detached and uncaring… Can pull the real me back… She fascinates me and no care for traditions or reasonable thoughts can stop me loving her…” He turned back to you now where you had lowered yourself back onto his chest as you’d listened, your eyes on your hand that you’d rested on his waist. “But then she fell in love with someone else.” He murmured down at you.

“Did you know if she loved you, though?” You asked quietly below him, and he thought he heard your voice crack slightly. You were intelligent – another reason to love you – and you must have suspected something. “I don’t know.” Loki admitted truthfully. You pulled back once more to finally look Loki in face again. You were so close he could smell the alcohol on your breath. “But I had hope.” He confessed. “I always have hope.” He murmured, his eyes flickering between your eyes and your slightly parted lips.

Then suddenly you had lunged forward and captured his lips, closing your eyes as you poured your passion and desire into it. It took Loki by surprise for only a moment before he was eagerly returning the kiss he had been starving for, your hand’s coming up to cup his cheeks as Loki pulled you in closer with the arm around you, his other hand going to your hip.

He pulled back briefly, both of you already gasping for air. “Don’t tease me,” He growled dangerously at you, “Because I won’t stop.” He warned.

“I’m not.” You gasped, “I want it.” You insisted, “I want you.” Loki growled in response to this, now pulling you up and over him so you straddled his lap, then tugged you back down to him almost desperately.

Both your hands went back to his face again now, holding him against your lips even though he could think of nothing that would have made him pull away. Content that Loki wasn’t about to break the kiss again, you allowed your fingers to slide up until they entangled in his hair, Loki’s own hands stroking down your back slowly till they found your ass. You moaned into his mouth, rocking forward against him and Loki could feel the bulge in his pants reacting to this pressure alone.

He growled at your teasing, squeezing his grip on your cheeks till you squeaked and giggled against his lips. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, my love.” He muttered against you.

You pulled back, a devilish twinkle in your eyes as you knelt above him, cupping his cheek with one hand again and tipping his head back. “Oh, I fully intend to make good on it.” You grinned before kissing him hungrily once more. Loki wasn’t letting you take the control though, breaking the kiss again and taking advantage of your heightened position to kiss and nip your throat and collarbone making you moan and bite your lip again, your hands slipping to his shoulders where they gripped tightly in an attempt to keep yourself upright.

Loki grinned against your skin, moving one hand to the small of your back before turning and pushing you back onto the sofa so you were laid out before him. You grinned up at him eagerly from the cushions and Loki knew he probably should have paused then and considered that this was all a big mistake, that you were feeling sad and lonely and were making a rash, reckless decision…

But in that moment, he really didn’t care – he was getting what he had been craving for so long and he’d never hurt you – he loved you and perhaps you loved him.

Or could.

His decision seemed made for him when you now wrapped your arms around his back, pulling him down on top of you. Loki grinned, planting his hands either side of your head as he leant down to your lips again.

Your hands slipped round his side, feeling his muscles tense under your strokes, before your fingers trailed down his stomach the front of his trousers.

He growled against you again, “So eager, aren’t we?” He asked as he pulled back, catching your hands. You whined eagerly, and Loki smirked dangerously at how excited you already were. “Maybe you need to learn some patience…” He teased, slowly moving your arms up and over your head as he leant in close to your face, his breath brushing distractingly against your mouth.

You parted your lips to breathe him in, the scent going straight to your head and you closed your eyes at the bliss, wanting more. “Please.” You whimpered.

“Not yet, my love.” He growled casting a simple locking charm to keep your hands in place above you before slipping down your body, his hands gripping the edge of your dress and easing it up your thighs. You struggled weakly with your restraints, helping him shimmy the material up your body, somehow managing to pass the sleeves over your hands though they remained locked in place by the invisible restraints.

Before you could truly comprehend you were now left only in your underwear, Loki had tossed the dress away and grabbed your ankles, pulling you now to the edge of the sofa and kneeling before you. He bowed to your ankle, placing a feather-light kiss on the sensitive skin, chilling his breath as he blew along the skin of your legs, crawling back up your body. You squirmed under the sensation, moans muffled as she bit down hard in the inside of your lip.

Loki paused at the top of your thighs, so you opened your eyes in confusion, glancing down your body at where he had paused, your eyes locking with his heated gaze. Without looking away, Loki lowered his face to where only your panties remained, blowing cold air on the damp material that covered your heat.

You couldn’t help it, unable to hold back the moan this time, tilting your head back, knowing it was only a tease of what was to come - of what you so desperately wanted. “Loki.” You panted, pushing your hips towards him, though he simply pulled away slightly, denying you his mouth on the area. “Stop.” You managed to hiss through her teeth

“What is exactly that you’d like me to stop…?” Loki asked innocently, his eyes sparking with mischief.

“Stop teasing.” You groaned, still bucking your hips pointlessly. “Please.”

Loki grinned, leaning down to bite the rim of your panties, slowly peeling them down your legs and you couldn’t help squirming where he teeth grazed your skin. Before you knew it, your underwear was gone, and you were exposed to the cold air and Loki’s gaze.

You instinctively went to close your legs, but Loki’s strong hands were already in place, easily holding them open. “I have only dreamt of this sight…” He purred, “Of this taste…” He almost growled, as he lowered himself down. You gasped as his lips met you, your head jerking back and your thighs would have clenched if they could.

Loki was thorough, sucking, rubbing and teasing you, your sweetness better than he had imagined and practically intoxicating. Coupled with your moans it was enough to make him to go painfully hard.

Despite this, he continued his slow torment on you till you were a writhing mess beneath him before he then pulled back, slipping up your body to combine the taste of you with your lips. You groaned at the loss of contact, but welcome his lips again, desperately fighting your restraints above you, wanting to touch him. “Loki – please.” You protested distractedly.

“I am going to remove every scent, every touch, every thought of _him_.” He promised with a dangerous growl, his hands slipping beneath you to release the clasp of your bra.

“Do it. Please.” You begged, arching your back do he could pull your last piece of underwear off. It took barely any time for him to lose his own clothes, seeming unable – or unwilling – to release your for even a moment before his hands and lips were greedily back on you again.

He turned his attention you your chest now, kneading one breast as he kissed the underside of the other. “As much as I want to spend hours loving every part of your body my dear,” He murmured against the sensitive skin between your breasts, “I cannot stand this much longer.” He confessed, and you watched thoroughly barely opened eyes as he now moved to position himself at your entrance.

You felt him brush against you. “Oh my god.” You moaned, and Loki knew your helpless was killing you just as much as you were loving it.

“Yes.” He gasped, “I am your god,” He growled, unable to wait any longer, “And I am going to prove it…” Without warning he thrust into you. He had wanted to take it low and savour it, but he couldn’t. Not now when he needed you so badly.

You cried out as he forced his way into you, the sensation of you tightening around him enough to make his mind go completely blank for a moment and the spell binding your hand’s failed, freeing you. At first you didn’t realise though, your face screwed up in pain at the size of Loki and the stretch of your walls at his intrusion. Loki faltered slightly, worried he’d gone too far but the minute he stopped, you whined desperately, unable to find words, instead dropping your head back, eyes closed, and frantically grabbing at his back trying to get him to move again. “Loki.” You hissed, and that beg was all he needed.

You clung to him desperately as he thrust unto you again, the pain on your face soon ebbing away to pleasure. You kept your eyes closed as the bliss built within him, and Loki’s hands went to your hips now, pulling you into each of his thrusts before he lifted one of your legs to hook around his waist. You soon followed suit with your other leg, the new angle allowing Loki to plunge deeper inside you. You cried his name out as you clung to him, rocking with his motions, your nails digging into his back as he felt his crescendo building.

You slipped your hands up to his hair again now, yanking his head down in a mixture of pain and pleasure as you captured his mouth one more. The kiss didn’t last long before you both broke away again, gasping for air and leaning your foreheads against each other, gazes locked as Loki continued to pound into you, watching every flicker of pleasure across your features.

You bit down hard on your lip, closing your eyes and he could tell you were as close as he was. “I can’t –“ You managed to gasp out, letting out a silent moan.

“Then don’t.” He growled, capturing your lips one last time as he then felt your entire body tense around him as you came, causing him to do the same, crying out your name in ecstasy.

* * *

Loki woke in bed the next morning, not entirely sure he could remember how he had got there from the sofa. He turned his head to the side to see you curled up in a foetal position next to him, your hand under your cheek and watching his confused expression with your beautiful eyes and an amused smile.

He reached out a hand to stroke your cheek as you, in turn, reached for him.

But he never felt your touch, and his own hand passed straight through your cheek in a glimmer of gold.

Loki felt his heart drop and crack at the same time. His illusions lacked any density without his dreams and your whole image now wavered in front of him. You continued to smile that - almost cruel now – smirk as you flickered and faded before Loki’s eyes, soon leaving him completely alone in the bed with nothing but a damp patch next to him and the heavy aching heart that came with reality. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Ok guys, finally I’ve finished this (been editing it for hours now!) I’ve based this on a request but I’ve also added a little twist of my own because I’m a cruel creature. :P ;)  
> Hope you enjoy it! Only the third smut I’ve done, so I’m still leaning, but I hope its not too terrible!


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